Well, friends, this morning I did the bravest thing I've done in a while.
I took myself for a walk.
First morning without Rem, and 7:30 passed without any fanfare. Seemed wrong to me. By 8:30, I had convinced myself to continue the habit Remmie and I had developed and go for a walk. In a melancholic but hopeful attempt at bravery, I thought it might be good to take the first official steps without my canine companion. And to do it sooner than later.
I made a double-pack cup of coffee, poured it in a travel mug and hit the streets.
I traveled the same way Rem and I had for the last two and a half months, stopping - out of habit - at the bushes and lamp posts that seemed to draw him in day after day after day. (Of course, I skipped the territory-marking part that he was so fond of. Even in the deepest of grief, one has to draw the line somewhere.)
It's amazing how much I wanted to do things on my walk that would still connect me to him. Walking at the same pace. Stepping carefully over the same curb. Stopping every once and a while and sniffing the air. Peeking into the window at Piraat's house. It seemed like, if I could do these things the same way, he'd be with me somehow.
I'm going to do my best to keep you all from staying inside the sadness Dave and I are feeling. There will be happier things to report soon. That's the way of life. But for now, you've read my mind and heart.
Continued thanks to all for the blog comments, emails, phone calls, and good thoughts sent our direction. It helps.